- think about this -

1st of all.. i jz wanna say. that im not a good person. n im not a bad person either..
this is what i wanna share to anyone who read this
for several month this tought come through my mind..

with all the problem..
all the negative thinking. thinking who's to blame..
who's right, who's wrong..
i realize that.
i know that somethings is not right.

This is based on what i experienced myself okei..
i always thought.. Why.. Why.. Why.. im always not sO lucky in loVe?

why im always have to lose someone that i really care about..
i don't know.. maybe im jz very naive.
to believe in love right?

the first chapter is.. my high sChool lovers.
haha.. yea. this maybe sounds like stupid. ur jz a kids dudes. u don't know nothing about love. haha.. i agree with that..
but still.. i do take serious of her =.="
i dont know whats going through with that relationship..
for almost three years we've been together.. then finally we break Up
she thought me a lot about love. yea. seriously. eventhough we're not meant to be together maybe?
yea.. i always pray that she will be happy with her new life.. she have new bf too right now.
im glad that she really have forget about me :)

second chapter.. adeii..
this is the one that i still cant let go..
hmm.. she always been there for me. always..
i dont know why she treat me so good. sometimes..
i wish its better if she never been this good towards me.
so i wont be suffer like this..
im afraid to love.. afraid to be love.
im really stuck here..
we've been couple for almost 2 years. n still.. like the 1st chapter. we broke uP..
see.. not so luCky again.. adei..

hmm.. the last one. are my last gf..
we couple for a short period of time only..
maybe 3 months.. she is good. im happy to treat her well from the 1st moment we couple until we broke uP.. did i treat her well? yea.. maybe. i dunno. its uP to her to decide.. i guess not maybe..
cuz if im treating her well. im still with her right? =.="
we split up.. cuz we live in a really different world. i nvr want to blame her. she's good.
its me..
the reason why we break up..
now she hv a new bf too..
im glad she hv a new life.. im happy 4 u :)

okei2.. back to what i said. " there must be something that is not right "
yea. from all the story. u can see ait.. ive broke up. with all of them..
im loyal okei? yea.. really. cuz i've never flirt another girl if i hv a gf.. if anyone dont believe this.. go ask my ex2 gf.. huhu

im only flirting 100x times if im single :)
ada gf.. xle la.. nt gf nanges. xmo la bg nanges2 gf.. sayang kn.. huhu..

okei2.. again im out of my topic. haha.. what i do wanna say here.
why.. it took me so long to realize.. what is my mistake..

my mistake is.. im forget abOut the one. whO love me. more than anyone.. more than the love of my parents towards me..
its Allah. ya.. Allah..
im not saying im Alim o watsoever k..
it jz a sense of human being to realize what is happen around him..

lets see this example..

masa ada gf - bgn pagi.. wish morning.. love u. bla bla bla..
- tghari.. tnya. da makan blom? still ingat kn.. kalo lom makan. ajak la makan
- petang.. watpa tu syg? tdo? bla bla bla..
- maghrib.. dear.. i nk kuar mkn jap g.. nk ikot?
- mlm - yea.. gayut. smpai tdo.. =.="

okei.. dpt nmpk kn.. suma ble wat utk gf.. suma bole la.. senang kata. anything 4 u bak kata org. adedei.. =.="

hmm.. utk Allah? the one who cr8 us.. who make us happy. gving us chance to love n beloved.
gving us life.. gving us the opportunity to see this wonderful world..
hv we ever think about him like he think about us.. hmm correction. not us. its me..
ive never think about this before. now i realize.. life is not easy like we use to think..
sometimes, we cant get what we want. cuz Allah hv its own plan..
before this.. im blaming myself. blaming my life.. why im not so lucky n watsoever..
now i know.. its not im not lucky o wat. its me.. forget about what i should do in this life..
the purpose of we born in this world are to find a path through life. a path which will lead us to our beloved Allah s.w.t..
im appreciate Allah gv me this kind of thinking..
i dunno.. is it Hidayah? i dunno.. what i do know.. i hope Allah will always lead me to the right path. i hope Allah will never let me out from this path right now.. im happy im perform my pray even if its not full 5 times a day. o sometimes forget.. still i do wanna pray.
that is the key. for all happiness in this world. if u dont believe this.. try it.
u'll know what i mean..
i wanna be a good muslim. im not saying all of this.. im a good person already. im alim . no okei..
im jz wanna share my thoughts. if one day. i forget about what i said.. i hope they will be someone who reminds me. anyway. Thanx Allah.
i rather be alone.. then im going out of this path. even i've no one to say " i love u" towards me.. its okei. cuz.. Allah always here with me :)