- my holiday -

wOw.. its been so long since my last post.. huhu.
im on my holiday right now.

home sweet home :)

hmm.. this holiday.
i learn so many thing. i discover so many things.
yea..

em.. okei. so, whats my activity during this holidae..
29, march 2010 - i watch wrestlemania live okei!.. wrestlemania 26.
huhu.. undertaker defeated HBK.. in a streak vs career match..
bye2 HBK.. we will miss u ..
no more sweet chin music :(

okei2.. other than that..
i meet my friends..
playing dota..
hang out.. share many stories..
waa.. i'll miss this oliday..

em.. actually im confussed..
is jealousy means u love that person?
is it like that?
or is it means u jz scare to lose the person..

adei.. i think about it this several day..
i donow what is love.
i donow what i feel..
i donow.. =.="

- i will -

i guess.. what i see is jz enough for me. to understand it myself..
then..
i guess i'll jz lock away this feeling like 4ever maybe?
im here. loving u all this time..
n sadly.. u don't feel the same towards me..

now..
i wont stand at ur shadows think about what i feel towards u..
i will stand beside u. as ur bestfriend.. maybe, that is what we're meant to be :)

bye2 love..

Finish deleting my 3840 text msG @@ ~

- this is cooL -

wHere'd u gO..?

- liFe -

life.. do we remember.. what we wanted when we are a kids?

we dream to hv a nice car..
we dream to hv a big house..
we dream to travel around the world..
we dream to hv a lot of candies at our home..
we dream to live with the ppl we love the most..
we dream to hv all kind of gadget that ppl like..
we dream to live in a life full with wonderful things..
we dream to be jz like our dad.. o mom..

life.. what is really life actually like?

life is like a road..

on this road.. we face so many person..
on this road.. we realize not all we wanted all this time can be achieved..
on this road.. we learn, how dreams is sometimes only a dreams..
on this road.. we know, we have to struggle to get something..
on this road.. we learn that, everything happen for a reason..
on this road.. we actually think. who i really am? am i the person that what ppl want to be.. am i what i really want to be?
on this road.. we learn, what is love.. what is hatred..
on this road.. we learn, what road should we taken..
on this road.. we realize. one mistake, will lead to another..
on this road.. we realize, how cruel this world really are. its not always ended like in a fairytale.. " live happily ever after"..
on this road.. we change from this person, to another person.. whether u realize it or not..

life.. do u believe in this Quote..

.we live only once.
be happy. n enjoy this life as much as u can.

when we are a kids.. hv we ever imagined that we will grew up this fast?
when we are a teens.. hv we ever think about what life really means?
right now.. hv we ever think, what we will be 10 - 20 years later?

im writing all of this.. jz to share to all of u.. what i hv thought in my mind..
maybe.. u can say me crazy or psycho or watever u want..
but take 1 minute of the time in ur life.. and think back of what ive said.. do we ever think about it?

do we live only once?
is it worth it to enjoy this life?

for me.. im 200% disagree with the that Quote..
cuz.. i know. we live not only once..
why should we enjoy this life. do all things that we shouldn't do.. when we know.. we will suffer in the next life?

im not saying that this life is meaningless.. im not saying that in this life.. im not doing any mistake. im not saying all of this means im good o alim.. o watsoever u wanna say it..
i do make mistake. n cuz all of that mistake.. lead me to what i write right now..

we hv to remember.. we don't know.. how long would we live..
hv we ever think.. when will we die?
with all the enjoy n self fulfillment we do.. satisfied what we needs..
either it is prohibited or not in Islam.. we still do it..
is it really worth it for the life after this?
is it the preparation that we prepared for the next life..?

are we live in a typical life..?
grew up.. go to school.. go to high school.. go to University.. Graduate..
get a work.. and married.. hv a child..
get older.. n die..

is it really life is that simple? jz follow the flow..
yea.. its normal to live in a life like that. im also living in a world like that..
but what i wanna say here..
life is not really that simple. we hv to think wise.. think deep..
y we are here in this world..
its to find keredhaan Allah s.w.t right.. but how many we muslim think like that?
nowadays.. ppl think life is more to money rather than towards Allah s.w.t..
is it true money is everything? yes.. i agree. we need to money to live.. but money cant buy our life.. money cant guaranteed what will happen to us.. in the afterlife..
so.. remember. lead a fair life.. make a wise decision in our life..
cuz we wont get so many chances in this life..

we live in this world.. with so many choices.. n i really believe..
the road that lead us to Allah s.w.t will be a road that will hv a lot of distraction..
i believe in that..
Allah gv us sense.. gv us logical thinking. for us to understand what is this life really means..
me as a muslim jz wanna share this kind of thinking that i had..
this is to remind all of us.. n also to myself..

anyways..
no matter how hard this life is..
no matter how cruel this life is..

don't ever lost hope with Allah s.w.t..
believe in that.. cuz Allah will never abandon the person that love him..
we jz need to tawakal.. redha.. n bdoa..
may Allah s.w.t guide us to the right path..

love towards life.. we will die..
love towards a person.. it will fade away..
love towards Allah s.w.t.. it is forever..

- think about this -

1st of all.. i jz wanna say. that im not a good person. n im not a bad person either..
this is what i wanna share to anyone who read this
for several month this tought come through my mind..

with all the problem..
all the negative thinking. thinking who's to blame..
who's right, who's wrong..
i realize that.
i know that somethings is not right.

This is based on what i experienced myself okei..
i always thought.. Why.. Why.. Why.. im always not sO lucky in loVe?

why im always have to lose someone that i really care about..
i don't know.. maybe im jz very naive.
to believe in love right?

the first chapter is.. my high sChool lovers.
haha.. yea. this maybe sounds like stupid. ur jz a kids dudes. u don't know nothing about love. haha.. i agree with that..
but still.. i do take serious of her =.="
i dont know whats going through with that relationship..
for almost three years we've been together.. then finally we break Up
she thought me a lot about love. yea. seriously. eventhough we're not meant to be together maybe?
yea.. i always pray that she will be happy with her new life.. she have new bf too right now.
im glad that she really have forget about me :)

second chapter.. adeii..
this is the one that i still cant let go..
hmm.. she always been there for me. always..
i dont know why she treat me so good. sometimes..
i wish its better if she never been this good towards me.
so i wont be suffer like this..
im afraid to love.. afraid to be love.
im really stuck here..
we've been couple for almost 2 years. n still.. like the 1st chapter. we broke uP..
see.. not so luCky again.. adei..

hmm.. the last one. are my last gf..
we couple for a short period of time only..
maybe 3 months.. she is good. im happy to treat her well from the 1st moment we couple until we broke uP.. did i treat her well? yea.. maybe. i dunno. its uP to her to decide.. i guess not maybe..
cuz if im treating her well. im still with her right? =.="
we split up.. cuz we live in a really different world. i nvr want to blame her. she's good.
its me..
the reason why we break up..
now she hv a new bf too..
im glad she hv a new life.. im happy 4 u :)

okei2.. back to what i said. " there must be something that is not right "
yea. from all the story. u can see ait.. ive broke up. with all of them..
im loyal okei? yea.. really. cuz i've never flirt another girl if i hv a gf.. if anyone dont believe this.. go ask my ex2 gf.. huhu

im only flirting 100x times if im single :)
ada gf.. xle la.. nt gf nanges. xmo la bg nanges2 gf.. sayang kn.. huhu..

okei2.. again im out of my topic. haha.. what i do wanna say here.
why.. it took me so long to realize.. what is my mistake..

my mistake is.. im forget abOut the one. whO love me. more than anyone.. more than the love of my parents towards me..
its Allah. ya.. Allah..
im not saying im Alim o watsoever k..
it jz a sense of human being to realize what is happen around him..

lets see this example..

masa ada gf - bgn pagi.. wish morning.. love u. bla bla bla..
- tghari.. tnya. da makan blom? still ingat kn.. kalo lom makan. ajak la makan
- petang.. watpa tu syg? tdo? bla bla bla..
- maghrib.. dear.. i nk kuar mkn jap g.. nk ikot?
- mlm - yea.. gayut. smpai tdo.. =.="

okei.. dpt nmpk kn.. suma ble wat utk gf.. suma bole la.. senang kata. anything 4 u bak kata org. adedei.. =.="

hmm.. utk Allah? the one who cr8 us.. who make us happy. gving us chance to love n beloved.
gving us life.. gving us the opportunity to see this wonderful world..
hv we ever think about him like he think about us.. hmm correction. not us. its me..
ive never think about this before. now i realize.. life is not easy like we use to think..
sometimes, we cant get what we want. cuz Allah hv its own plan..
before this.. im blaming myself. blaming my life.. why im not so lucky n watsoever..
now i know.. its not im not lucky o wat. its me.. forget about what i should do in this life..
the purpose of we born in this world are to find a path through life. a path which will lead us to our beloved Allah s.w.t..
im appreciate Allah gv me this kind of thinking..
i dunno.. is it Hidayah? i dunno.. what i do know.. i hope Allah will always lead me to the right path. i hope Allah will never let me out from this path right now.. im happy im perform my pray even if its not full 5 times a day. o sometimes forget.. still i do wanna pray.
that is the key. for all happiness in this world. if u dont believe this.. try it.
u'll know what i mean..
i wanna be a good muslim. im not saying all of this.. im a good person already. im alim . no okei..
im jz wanna share my thoughts. if one day. i forget about what i said.. i hope they will be someone who reminds me. anyway. Thanx Allah.
i rather be alone.. then im going out of this path. even i've no one to say " i love u" towards me.. its okei. cuz.. Allah always here with me :)

- wrestlemania 26 -

THE ROAD HAS BEGUN

adeii~ teaser wallpaper nie.. mmg kin aku x sabar mo tgk wrestlemania tahun nie.
apa nda.. sudah almost 2 tahun bturut2 aku miss wrestlemania liVe okei..
nama ja greates fans ever. tp wrestlemania x tgk.. apa la tue. haiz..
tp xPa.. tahun nie. aku blk sabah. n dpt la aku tgk wrestlemania liVe!!!
yehaaaaaaaa!!!
hadeii.. happy gilak aku. haha..

tahun nie match..

Batista VS Cena
Triple H VS Sheamus
Randy orton VS Cordy rhodes VS Ted dibiase
Edge VS Chris Jericho
Bret Hart VS Mr.McMahon
Unified tag team Vs John morrison & R-truth



Last one are my Fevy sUperstar eVer ~

Naa.. pix nie ja yg plg lawa aku dpt.
nie pix teaser wrestlemania 25.
wrestlemania tahun.
and tahun lepas UNDERTAKER MENANG okeii.

UNDERTAKER AKAN MENANG JUGA TAHUN INI
NOTHING WILL CHANGE
SHAWN MICHEAL.. WELL COME TO HELL.. hahahah..
RETIRED LA SHAWN MICHEAL.. MMG SILAP LA KAW LAWAN TAKER LAGI

mana la ada org ley kc kalah hero aku nie
adedei..
pasni taker 18-o suda..
undefeated streak ever.

Wrestlemania.. one day. one fine day..
i'm gonna go watch it live myself.
~ i Will ~

- if only u knew -

yesterday.. after 3 month of silence.
i receive a msg at my fb.
it was her.
adei~
my heart suddenly stop beating. i start feel dizzy.. i cant breath properly..
hmm..
why.. after i said i wanna moVe on. u was there. come back.. asking am i okei o not..
ask im look happy.. n watsoever..
adei~

u thought.. i can simply easily love sum1 else jz like that a?
if love is really that simple. i would already hv a new gf liao~

i jz still cant 4get abouT u.
how am i going to love n beloved by sum1 else if i still thinking about u?

hmm.. sumtimes. i feel like im a stupid dudes only.
u've break my heart so many times.. still i care about u.
still. i Can't resist to reply ur msg..

dun ask me to move on. cuz i will if i want to..
dun ever ask me im fine o not..
cuz u know what the answer..
dun said u thought im happy if u nvr knew what i feel..
dun ever gv me hOpe..
when i know, i dont have any.
dun ever said.. u love me. when u dont mean it..

anyway.. i need to gv my 1st priority to my study..
xm is around d corner. n i cant think anything else other then my study.
my future depends on my xm.
not on loVe ~

love will come 4 me. there's no need 4 me to suffer thinking about who love me..
u love me o not..
who u really love..
adei.. i will try stop thinking about that.

1st thing 1st..
family.. study.. friends.. loVe~

anyway. this is what i really think about u..
u.. dont love me babe.
u jz afraid im loving sum1 else..
if u really love me.
u'll always wanna be with me. u'll always want me to be yours..
u'll never said.. move on. cuz the real truth is.. its U Move on.. not me.
u wont have a reason to love sum1..
if its really true distance can make us stop loving sum1.
y cant i?
maybe im not d lucky one yea..
haha.
who i love is thousands mile away from me. still i cant stop loving her
adei~ why i hv to suffer like this.. only God knows
i believe Allah hv its own plan for me. maybe.. there are beutiful things ahead me..
i jz need to believe n tawakal dgn takdirnya..

last is.. u said about y cant we jz be friends?

dear..
if i dont have any feelings towards u anymore.
yea. we can be friends jz like b4.. yes, i do wanna talk to u about lot of things..
but still i cant.. i jz cant..
i dont wanna feel how it hurts when u said. u love me.. u love me. u love me..
n 1 day.. u are with sum1 else. n the person is not me
it will hurt a lot u know
u will feel like u've been lied all this time.
same goes to u..
i dont wanna hurt u.
that is the last thing on earth i would ever do.
that is how muCh i love u.
if really i move on.. n i love another girl..
can u accept it..
can u face it..?
b4 that kind of things happen..
its better 4 me.. to stay away from u.
so it wont hurt us both..

dun said i dun wanna be with u..
cuz im always there.
it jz u never see me..

ya Allah.. pls gv me strength to get through this..
i need to be back on track..
focus on my life.. love sum1 who will love me.. more then i love her.
appreciate me.. the way i appreciate her..
i wish i will meet that person sumday..

- i like this! -

while searching for dota pix. ive accidentally open this multiply..
cdt to him - sinackular
this is the Quote okei..

Warning, you won't understand this if you don't play the game XD

A real player would understand the meaning behind every sentence : hehe!

Enjoy!

____________________________________________________________________


Love is like DOTA because you can act as anyone you want to be.

Love is like DOTA because you'll never know who will be coming towards your way.

Love is like DOTA because you spend so much on items.

Love is like DOTA because you will be in grave danger if you don't know what your partner is capable of

Love is like DOTA because if you want to surprise her, then go through the back door

Love is like DOTA because it is time consuming

Love is like DOTA because you really can't do things by yourself

Love is like DOTA because you always have to be updated

Love is like DOTA because even though there are bugs, you don't know why they are there or what caused them

Love is like DOTA because there are alot of distractions

Love is like DOTA because if you're in love or playing dota at that moment, you can't be disturbed at all

Love is like DOTA because you always ask help from your friends

Love is like DOTA because it brings barkada's together

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna be invisible

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wanna know what it's like switching places

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you perform better at night

Love is like DOTA because sometimes you wish you could turn back time

Love is like DOTA because you won't achieve anything alone or without cooperation

Love is like DOTA because once you start, you have to finish it

Love is like DOTA because everybody hates quitters

Love is like DOTA because most of the players quit when they are having a hard time or they think they are going to lose

huhu.. a dOta player will understand this..
its really true :)

loVe u doTa! hehe..

this morning, i wake uP
n i open my fb jz like wat i usually do..
n i read this status that was write by her..

tQ dear for EVERYTHING...won't ever let u go again! (^_^)

hmm.. what does it mean?
is it for friend?
i dont know..
i dont think so..
watever it is, y should i care? y should i even think about it?
y im feeling so terrible when i read it?
demn~
i hate this feeling..
im not supposedly feeling like this..
i should be happy when she feel like that towards another person..
that means.. she dont think about me anymore..
it means, she really move on..

dear.. thanx 4 everything.
u ever gv me..
4 everything.. u ever said to me.
u teach me a lot about loving some1..
thx 4 all the moment u share with me..

and now, i guess its really time for me to move on..
u already had your new life..
n i hope u happy with it..
i will always pray 4 ur happiness..
if u had a bf now..
do take care of him k..
n i hope he will do take good care of u too..
dont ever lied to him..
dont ever cheated on him..
take good care of the person who trust u.
love is fragile.. so, handle it with care..

i hope u'll happy n success in ur life..
i will be gone from u..

take care dear..

- xM -

hmm.. xm is aroud d corner.
am i prepair? hell yeah.. prepair laa sgt..
sem nie ada 4 subjek aku amik..

contraxt 2. ( subjek nie best.. lect ja.. adehh.. )
Adr. ( nie okei le.. best gak )
Management. ( borinG glak subjek nie.. )
enGlish ( zzz )

naa.. xm. xm. xm..
kena kc kurang nie maen game.
assignment lagi btimbun mo d buat.. haiz..
tym2 mo final nie la byk assignment baa..

em.. this several day..
asek ja aku rasa x sehat ba. adehh.. napa la nie.
daa dekat final nie la mcm2 ragam baa..
mungkin suru aku cari gf baru kali nie? ada jua org care sal aku kn? hahahahaha..
jz kidding..
teda2 la care tue.. kin tmbah saket lg ada..

huhu.. naa.. nie posting lam bm. tba2 lak ada mood ckp melayu ( trip neyh ) haha..

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Hope is hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
And where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Hope is hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

its all abOut me ~

This is mY psp 3000 :)

huhu.. what i wanted all this time. i hv it now :)

- z property -

mY beutiful wiFe.. my waTcH. haha.
this 2 item ive been dream of for so lonG..

this is the effect of being single ok..
haha..

sinGle is enjoyable.
no need to topup for gf..
no need to pay telephone bill..
no need to buy present for gf.

i enjoy myself now :)

U..

Thx..

4 always be there 4 me..

4 nvr tired of hearing my stupid useless thoughts..

4 always help me to geT up. when i was down..

4 always cheer me Up..

4 HelpinG me to get throuGh..

4 brightening my day..

4 everythinG..

i appreciate it.

tQ :)

WE aRe MoRe then FrienDs, but we aRe less Then a LoVers =)

- wonderinG arOund -

MorninG~
its tuesday. 02.03.2010.

i hope today will be a good day for me =)
i miss home.
i miss u mOm..

mOms birthday is on 29 feb. but cuz of its happen to be in a leap year.
we usually celebrate it on 28.
this year. i cant celebrate mom bday cuz im here sTuck at this hell city.. T_T
nvm.. i wisH u will be find n healthy always mom. i love u sO mUcH..

yesterday..
hmm..
there's a lot of things happen yesterday.

duit mara x msUk..
im EXcidentally open my ex bloG.. zzz ..
then.. last but not least.
hmm..
friends? this is a very complicated subject i guess..
i cant explain it here..
huhu..

duit mara bila mo masUk nie?
aku x sabar ni mo beli psp.. haiz..
demam sua aku nie gara2 psp. hoho..

erm.. my ex BloG?
like i said.. im excidentally oPen it.
since we've broke uP. until yesterday.
ive nvr open her bloG...

ive read sOme post.. which she write something abouT me.
but i don't feel anythinG lorh..
there's 1 post she write that she hate me.
cuz im lying to her all this time..
curse n watsoever..
cuz im wearing a necklace wHich were given by my eX. b4 her..

u kNow what dear?
b4 u wanna blame me 4 that one simple things.
u should blame urself lorh..
ive had enough oo .. blaming myself for love.
ENOUGH.. u know..
u want me to hate u?
yea.. i do hate u.
4 everything ur lie to me.
pretending that nvr done anything wrong to me.. keep blaming me. zzz..
donow la.. its uP to u babe.
wanna blame me o watsoever.
I DONT CARE.

u wanna know? who gv me strenght when i was down?
who cheer me Up when i feel this whOle world was turn uP side down?
its her..
eventhough she lied to me. she hurt me really demn muCh.
still.. she said. im sorry.. ive hurt u. i know im wronG.
but pls.. if u ever feel alone n empty. im here 4 u..

and U??
u jz quite. n hOpe things will getting better 4 me?
fuCk off la wei.. its u getting better. not me.. u r now farking happy with ur new bf.
n me? im stuck here afraid to love and to be love..
u thought im coming back to my ex aa?
wei.. im wearing wat she gv to me. doesnt mean im with her again la..
i appreciate what she gv me.
yes. i love her. until this moment i love her..
even she is far away from me.
n ive never contact her anymore. she hv new bf too maybe..
i still love her.
does it gt problem with u? u want me to love u? when u fucking make me hate u..
haiz..
sometimes. we need to use our brain to think ok. u want ppl love u. appreciate u.
do something about it. prove that u r more better than what he imagine.
dont jz simply said love me. love me. love me.
but u dont do anything..
zzz.. enough le..
im sorry 4 everything wat i said k.. my harsh words n watsoever..
how muCh pain u left on me.. how hurt i am.
it doesn'nt matter anyway..
whats important now. u hv a new bf..
i pray 4 ur happiness..
like i said. i wont disturb both of u.. like i dont want u to disturb me too..
i hope u'll be happy with him..
may both of u. hv a nice journey ahead.
thx 4 everything good u ever done to me.
im not a good bf. n im really sorry 4 that.

hmm.. enough typing i guess.. haha..

- thx 4 proving to me, that all love is the same. all will betrayed me -
~ TQ ~

- tireD -

im tired, pls hold me.